Do you want me to tell you that your circumstances make you exempt from being like every other person? That has never been how it works You're neither better or worse for this
i dont mean i'm i never thought id need to use that word for myself but flabbergasted about covers it
ok ok im dropping i didnt want you to think i thought that was fucked up of you or anything its just surprising in the like holy shit that sure happened! kind of way and i dont know why youd wanna do that when you barely know me at all you know and its weird that you dont remember me but i remember you and everything thats what i meant theres a lot of weirds going on for me here. like its a lot fo process on five different levels
I'm not this person that you remember Well. It is me and it's not me
I am who I am before I met this ka-tet, and long after I last felt that kind of love Even if some of this is the ghost of this man who was yours, it's my heart and mind now
In the times when I was capable of such, I fell in love with people I had known for less than I know you now
You lived and died with and for me, a version of me Why would I not want to kiss you
( there's a lull between these various texts, as if half waiting on a reply before deciding that he has more to say. roland finds explaining himself uncomfortable at best. he's still not sure he made sense of it. those last two texts are the closest gist of it, creeping in on the mixed and vast emotions that eddie provoked - provokes - in him. )
dying for someone is the ultimate romantic gesture huh
anyway
all this... you but not you stuff is confusing and i want to help you figure it out but its gonna be weird for me sometimes okay and thats my own shit and my own issues and ill get over them
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no subject
Date: 2015-09-27 10:49 pm (UTC)That has never been how it works
You're neither better or worse for this
no subject
Date: 2015-09-27 11:21 pm (UTC)ive heard that before
no subject
Date: 2015-09-27 11:28 pm (UTC)he thinks on kissing eddie, but that doesn't make anything clearer.
hm. )
I won't kiss you again
I don't think you need things any more complicated
no subject
Date: 2015-09-27 11:37 pm (UTC)were you going to
i thought that was just a thing to make me feel better i didnt really know what to make of it
obviously
from my
eloquent reaction
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:19 am (UTC)I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:21 am (UTC)you dont know me
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:25 am (UTC)for me
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:26 am (UTC)You've really no need to drag this out
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:40 am (UTC)i'm
i never thought id need to use that word for myself but flabbergasted about covers it
ok ok im dropping i didnt want you to think i thought that was fucked up of you or anything its just surprising in the like holy shit that sure happened! kind of way and i dont know why youd wanna do that when you barely know me at all you know and its weird that you dont remember me but i remember you and everything thats what i meant theres a lot of weirds going on for me here. like its a lot fo process on five different levels
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 02:55 am (UTC)Well.
It is me and it's not me
I am who I am before I met this ka-tet, and long after I last felt that kind of love
Even if some of this is the ghost of this man who was yours, it's my heart and mind now
In the times when I was capable of such, I fell in love with people I had known for less than I know you now
You lived and died with and for me, a version of me
Why would I not want to kiss you
( there's a lull between these various texts, as if half waiting on a reply before deciding that he has more to say. roland finds explaining himself uncomfortable at best. he's still not sure he made sense of it. those last two texts are the closest gist of it, creeping in on the mixed and vast emotions that eddie provoked - provokes - in him. )
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 03:58 am (UTC)anyway
all this... you but not you stuff is confusing and i want to help you figure it out but
its gonna be weird for me sometimes okay
and thats my own shit and my own issues and ill get over them
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 09:50 am (UTC)If it's weird for you, I promise it's as strange for me.
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 11:25 am (UTC)what im saying is youre gonna have to be patient with me and im gonna have to be patient with you
no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-28 12:24 pm (UTC)i know